Douglas and Tami
We live in rural Minnesota in a small town. Our neighborhood is full of children. There is a beautiful city park with a hiking/walking trail that borders a river just a block away from our home. This is a favorite spot for our daily walks with our dogs, which will be even more special when we have a stroller to push. We also spend time in Florida, as our family owns a timeshare there. Whenever we want a fun get-away to a warm, sunny destination, we head south.
Describe your childhood (adoptive mom & adoptive dad):
Adoptive Mom? I was born in Minnesota and grew up on a farm. While in high school I worked as a certified nursing assistant in the evenings. In the summer I worked as a lifeguard at the city pool and also taught swimming lessons. I was involved in athletics in school until an injury happened and the doctor advised that I not participate in athletics. In school I played the cello in the orchestra. Living on the farm we helped out. I remember spending summer days picking rocks, spraying weeds on the bean bar, 4-H meetings, and the county fair.
Adoptive Dad? I was born in Texas on a military base. I grew up in Minnesota. When I was young I liked to hang out with friends. We would play football, swim, ride bike, roller skate…I was very active when I was young.
Tell us about your home?
Our home is where we are happy. It is a story and a half home in a small rural town in Minnesota. From the moment you walk in our inviting doorway you are welcomed. We have a large dining room which is the hub of our main level. From the dining room you are able to watch what is being made in the kitchen for our family dinner or watch the cartoons playing on the television in the family room. We have a large back yard that will be perfect for a game of catch or kickball. Our home is where our cherished memories are made and remembered, our dreams for us and our child become a reality, and our fun future vacations and activities are planned.
When you have a 3-day weekend, what do you like to do?
On a 3-day weekend in the spring, summer, or fall we usually go to Tami's parents' lake cabin. We spend our time there fishing, taking walks, going to movies, having campfires, and many other things. During the winter a typical 3-day weekend for us is spent either snowmobiling with groups of friends and their children or taking an impromptu mini vacation to one of our favorite hotels/resorts around the area. During these impromptu vacations we enjoy swimming at the pool, enjoying the water slides, playing mini golf, shopping, and eating out.
Do you have pets? If so tell us about them?
We have 2 small dogs. They are mixes. Daisy is a poodle/chihuahua mix. She is the mother of Junior. Junior is a poodle/chihuahua/pug mix. They enjoy nightly walks in the park which is a block away from our home. Both are always very excited when either of us walk through the front door. They are always ready to be played with and loved.
What do you hope to teach your children?
There are many things that we will teach our child/children. Some of the main things that we find valuable include the following. Confidence and self-esteem because without them they will not succeed but we also do not want them to be so confident that they treat other people poorly. Be an independent thinker. You don't have to do or join something just because everyone else is doing it. Compassion, kindness, and manners. To say please and thank you. There are so many things to teach a child. They are always learning and us as parents will always be learning too.
Describe your neighborhood?
We live in rural Minnesota in a small town. Our neighborhood is full of children. There is a beautiful city park with a hiking/walking trail that borders a river just a block away from our home. This is a favorite spot for our daily walks with our dogs, which will be even more special when we have a stroller to push. We also spend time in Florida, as our family owns a timeshare there. Whenever we want a fun get-away to a warm, sunny destination, we head south. We feel so fortunate that we are able to enjoy vacations with our family members in Florida as well as impromptu meals, card games and board games here at home since they live so close. Their loving support is also waiting for the arrival of your little one.
What will you tell your child about his/her birthmother?
We will tell our child about his/her birthmother and his/her adoption at an early age. We will be positive, honest and non-judgmental as we speak with our child. We will explain to our child that there is plenty of love to go around and that we will not be upset or love him/her any less if he/she is able to develop a relationship with the birthmother.
It's Daddy's day - what activity do you want to share with your child?
Daddy's day will become one of my favorite days! When our child is young we will go for walks in the park, play on the playground, and visit family. When our child is older I plan on taking him/her golfing during the summer and during the winter I will teach him/her how to ride a snowmobile. Teaching him/her how to do things around the house and yard will also be enjoyable. We can always play a game of HORSE, catch, or one-on-one basketball! This is something I can't wait to do!
What kind of education are you hoping to provide for your child - Private or Public?
Our community has a very good public school, which our child will attend.
How did you come to the decision of adoption?
After months of infertility treatments and many different types of medical tests we found out that Tami would not be able to conceive a child. Since this is the case our only options are to live without the joy of a child or adopt. After many heartfelt discussions and prayers we decided that adoption was what we were going to do to make our dream of having a child become a reality.
What faith will you raise your child?
We will raise our child as a Catholic.
What kind of a relationship do you hope to build with your birthmom through her pregnancy?
We want to show her that we truly appreciate her. We will ask her how she is feeling and if there is anything we can do to help her feel more comfortable. We will also: Show her that we are interested in her wellbeing and not just about the baby. Care about her and where she wants to go in life. Ask about her goals, dreams, and interests. Never judge her and always accept her just the way she is. Be decisive and clear in our responses to her questions. Follow through with any of our commitments we have made to her. Let her know she is valued, important, and will never be forgotten.
How did you meet?
We were introduced to each other on New Year's Eve by mutual friends. Tami had just finished working a temporary part time job and Doug was out with some of his friends. The next day we went to a football game, and we have been together ever since!
What was your relationship with your parents like (adoptive mom & adoptive dad)?
Adoptive Mom? My relationship with my parents is great. My parents just moved into town and live a block and a half a way from us. Since my family lives so close we are able to enjoy impromptu meals together, card games and board games. My parents also have a lake house that we visit during the summer months. We enjoy spending time with my parents. Their loving support is also waiting for the arrival of our little one.
Adoptive Dad? My relationship with my parents is great. I call my parents a couple of times a week because they live about two hours away. My parents are very supportive in our adoption choice and are excited for us to have a child we can love and care for.
What attracted you to each other?
What attracted me to Tami were her eyes and beautiful smile. What attracted me to Doug were also his eyes, his sense of humor, and the way he laughs. We had so much to talk about and have become each other's best friend. We feel lucky to have so many common interests.
Please describe your personalities (adoptive mom & adoptive dad):
Adoptive Mom? Fun, loving, easy going, motivated, intelligent, dedicated, organized, great sense of humor, and positive.
Adoptive Dad? Dedicated, caring, loving, fun, intelligent, considerate, good natured, responsible, great sense of humor, and honest.
What are your hobbies (please share those you enjoy as individuals and those you enjoy as a couple):
Adoptive Mom? I enjoy reading, crocheting, cooking, baking, fishing, going to the lake, and spending time with family and friends.
Adoptive Dad? My hobbies during the summer are golfing and fishing. During the winter I enjoy snowmobiling.
Together, we enjoy traveling, playing games, going for walks with our two small dogs, and eating meals together. We also support each other's individual hobbies.
When you close your eyes and see yourself holding your precious baby in your arms what are your thoughts regarding the birthmother?
How appreciative and thankful Doug and I are that she chose us to be the adoptive parents. I think about how hard her decision was and pray daily that she is happy, doing well and has a bright future ahead of her.
How will a child enrich your life?
As a family, we will learn many new things. Since we are family oriented we plan on sharing all our love for children and family with our child. We are looking forward to walks in the park, family dinners, and bedtime stories. What an adventure it will be!
Why did you each choose the career path you decided on?
Adoptive Mom? I wanted to be able to help people. I have been at my career for over 6 years. In my career I determine eligibility for disabled adults to get on cash, health care, and food support programs. The people that I help are always so appreciative since they live on a fixed income and do not have extra cash. They are appreciative of any assistance I can approve for them.
Adoptive Dad? I have been at my career for almost 11 years. I am in charge of the grocery department in a large retail store. I choose this career because of the daily challenges and being able to help people. Since I am in charge of all the dry goods (which is everything from candy to water) it is a big responsibility and with that responsibility comes the daily challenges of ordering, stocking shelves, and making price changes. I help people by directing them to the item they cannot find and by also being in charge of co-workers.